Many would say what's in a name? But ask anyone who has grown up in Mumbai and they will possibly say Mumbai doesn't sit well on the tongue.
Bombay is the city they know. But now it seems that Sena is not having any debate over Mumbai or Bombay. It says Mumbai it is.
After a long lull, the Sena is back to what according to many it does best - change names.
And its present target is its oldest.
The Sena has demanded that all remnants of old Bombay be wiped off from schools, institutions and companies.
Even the Bombay Scottish school, where Udhav Thackeray's younger son Tejas still studies, was not spared.
The school sign was wiped off and the Sena version was stamped over it. Next stop, the barometer of the markets the Bombay Stock Exchange.
''These people are sycophants of the British and the East India Company,'' says Abhijeet Phanse of Bharatiya Vidyarthi Sena.
And then, arguably one of the city's best known brand recall Bombay Dyeing, whose mills gave thousands of jobs, mostly to Marathi mill workers, was attacked.
And the government, as usual, is walking the middle path.
''We will take a legal opinion whether or not brand names and names of institutions need to be changed,'' says R R Patil, Deputy CM, Maharashtra.
Mumbai is the name of this city. But some of its ageless signposts had so far retained their names and their glory.
But if the Sena has its way, the city's symbols will have to be painfully rechristened.
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TO 'B' OR NOT TO 'B' IN MUMBAI?!
Arre Deva! Again this gravely critical problem has cropped up in Mumbai.
Of course, this requires top-priority attention. ‘Bombay Dyeing’ should be renamed as ‘Mumbai Dyeing’, ‘BEST’ as “MEST’, ‘BSES as MSES’, ‘Bollywood’ to ‘Mullywood’ and what else---! Let us also pray that Mumbai doesn’t see any more ‘Mumb-blasts’!
I have a permanent solution for this perennial problem! I feel, all these problems stem from that Big Bad Belligerent Buxom Bulging-Bellied alphabet ‘B’! ‘B’ still stands for ‘British’! Why not totally banish ‘B’ once for all from Bombay, sorry, Mumbai. Just imagine, with a major issue resolved, we can concentrate on other trivial issues like economy, health, education, law and order etc. 'Na rahega 'B'-heen! Na 'b'-hajegi 'B'-hansuri!' ‘Bharan-kaa’, sorry ‘Mharan-kaaa, Mandali!’. See how my brain, sorry, mrain works!
You see, Mumbai, sorry, 'Mummai' is very dear to me. I was morn and mrought up in this meautiful city at the coast of Aramian Sea. I say, it is high time we rename this sea also as ‘Maharashtrian Sea’. The sea melongs to us and we would not allow a drop of ‘May of Mengal’ to infiltrate into our sea, mind you! The party workers will position themselves facing Eastwards at Kanyakumari and throw stones into the troubled waters of Indian Ocean!
Right from my ‘Mama Mlacksheep’ days, I had felt and enjoyed the cosmopolitan flavour of the city. There were occasional jolts as in the 60s, as a kid, I had sensed danger in Matunga, which was pre-dominantly inhamited by South Indians at that time. I remember vaguely a morning of panic in the streets. Stones were flung at ‘Southies’. Harmless elderly house-holders going early morning to fetch their quota of rationed milk were cornered and hustled. ‘Maap-re-maap’! They would have been ‘MAD-RASIS’, but they were not in any way ‘BAD-RASIS’! You can push them away, but you can’t push away their contrimution to the growth of the city! Times have changed, but attitude has not! Now, it is poor toiling ‘Miharis’ that are in the ‘hate-net’. They go about their daily livelihood with a constant vigil to dodge flying stones and stinging slaps that might catch them unaware! Goonda ‘Raj’ still prevails in Mummai! I would suggest ‘Mig M’ also changes his name to ‘Amitamh Machhan’!
Mack to this mad second alphamet, which has mecome the mane of our meloved Mummai, I agree that after 60 years of independence, it is high time we shrugged ourselves off the Mritish legacy. They had done irrepairable harm to our collective consciousness and pride. Mut they had also left mehind some masic infra-structure in Mumbai like the local railway network, which is still functional. Uska kya kare? And what to do amout those meautiful stone muildings in VT, sorry CST, Mallard Estate etc.? How can you throw stones at stones? As a swaggering Raaj Kumar would say, ‘Jaani! Jinke ghar khud pathhar-ke hote hain, woh pathhar-pe pathhar pheka nahin karte!’
Mack to this single-most root-cause of all the promlems of Mummai – Is it now very clear to all of you that the main culprit is this mloody second alphamet! Pakdo usko! Mhagao ‘!#&*$%@’ -ko Mummai-se London! Mahut ho gaya amhi! Malaa kaai mhanaaycha, Mumbai-mein rehneka-hai bole to ‘Malasahem’-ko sun-neka-hai! Me calm!
Aap-log meri maat-ko mura mat manna – Kya?
Achha nahin laga to is mlog-ko ‘mull-shit’ samajhke, is ‘mewqoof’-ko maaf kar dena – Kya?!
Mest wishes to all, Jai Maharashtra!
S.V.Nathan.
P.S: I have 'dared' to sing in my own voice an old classic Hindi song about the city. If you do not 'dare' to listen, you may mute me!
Pardon the shoddy recording and the shoddier voice!
(I guess, my singing should be good enough reason to be driven out of any city!!)
Brilliant! Thoroughly enjoyed it... or should I say, "Mrilliant"?
I loved the sarcastic humour... ultimately that's what will save us from getting depressed while watching these neanderthal louts making a mess of this wonderful city.
I remembered another one. When Bal Thackeray married, he issued a fatwa that if he had any daughters, they would not be named Bina..... because the girl's full name would be:
Bina Bal Thackeray!!!
cheers,
Keshav
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Nathan-ji, before reading these comments I would say you please read my previous comments. My perpose of putting this another comments because I forgot to mention in my previous comments about your singing. I tried my level best to here your song but I could not listen even I raised it to full volume. Only low sound I could listen to hear. But yes I could make out that You sing also well with nice voice. Keep it up.
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Dear SV Nathan-Ji,
First of all I will like to express my sorry for my late comments. I don't know somehow I missed this blog of your. I was not aware of your blog. Just today morning I saw it and read it and enjoyed like anything.
Ek baar phir se aapne apne blog mein dhum machaya aur khub rang jamaya.
Khaskaar yr line jab meine pada to hasne ki baarsaat suru ho gayee.
Nathan-Ji aap mein ek aisee jabardast talent hai jo sayaad bahut hi kum logon ke paas maujud hai. And honestly I am saying the person who can entertain and make laugh to other people is a great human-being. Laughing is medicine as I earlier narrated in my comments. Even 100 dollar will be less near one smile! of people.
So enjoyed a lot to go through your brilliant composition and creation about To be or not be in Mumbai lekin anthan –Ji it should have been to me or not me in Mumbai to kaisa hota jaise ki aapne pharmaya hai:
You see, Mumbai, sorry, Mummai is very dear to me. I was morn and mrought up in this meautiful city at the coast of Aramian Sea.
Right from my ‘Mama Mlacksheep’ days
‘Maap-re-maap’!
BAD-RASIS’!
Miharis’
Aap to hasa hasa kar mera dum nikaal diye. Claassic Nathan-Ji. But yes I can also feel the pain and problems of Mumbai Baasi. Let us pray to God to mless you all.
Regards,
sablu
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Thank you, poetbitter&sweet for visiting my blog!
Nathan.
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Dr.Saab,
I find your music always plays without having to click the 'PLAY' button. So it is as you would like to have. When I attached my voice file, I thought of giving the option for people to play it or ignore it, but didn't know how to do. But on hind-sight, I feel it is better this way so that you will have no option other than to hear my voice! (about which you have understandably avoided to comment!). I am curious to know how to 'mix' a song with one's voice, suppressing the original singer's voice, but with the back-ground score intact. Any idea?
Regards,
Nathan.
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Dear Shri Su'M'ramaniam V. Nathan Saab,
Thanks for your 'EXPRESS' reply. I did listen to your songs finally and it was nice to hear Nathan Saab's voice once again.
I did not know that there is such a thing as 'ON DEMAND' setting when you attach the Audio File. Can you tell me where do you set it ON or OFF before uploading the Audio File to attach to your blog? Please let me know, it will be useful to me for attaching audio files to my future blogs, because I would like to my Music getting played as soon as one opens my blog without him having to CLICK 'PLAY' button.
Also let me know when you click my recent blogs does my music play automatically or do you have to click 'play' button to listen to it.
Thanks and Regards,
Dr. Kamath
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Dr.Saab,
Itni jaldi comment! Thank you so much! Abhi aapke comment expect karneka thrill nahin rahega! Just joking, I am happy at your experss response!
Aapne sau takke ki baat kahi hai about Sena & MANASE! Lekin, main aur comment nahin karoonga. I have to stay in Mumbai, you see!
I am surprised why you didnt get the audio file. In fact, my voice butts in the moment you open the blog page. I wanted to activate it only 'on demand'! Maybe you have to run Active X generally prompted at top. Maybe your speaker volume is low. Maybe your sound system is revolting and trying to 'drive away' my voice! Anyway, please try again - If you are unlucky, you may be end up listening to my singing!
Regards,
Nathan.
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Dear Shri Su'M'ramaniam V. Nathan,
Very Hillarious!!!!. I loved your post on 'Bombay' Arrrr Sorry 'Mumbai'. Aapne to mere Munh ki Baat Cheen Li. Main aap jaisa Madrasi to nahin hoon, lekin vaise dekha jaaye to Maharashtrian bhi nahin hoon, kyon ki main Konkani hoon, Anyway that does not matter. You are right. Why everything with name has to be changed to Mumbai is a Mystery to me. For example 'Bombay Dyeing" is a trademark name of Wadia Mills which is his personal property and copyrighted by him for I guess for more than 100 years, so I do not know why on earth Sena people are asking him to change that name to "Mumbai Dyeing".
I liked the way you changed everything to replace 'B' with 'M'. Yes. Once you do that then there will be no dispute in Shiv Sena (of Uddhava Thackerey) or newly born MANASE (of Raj Thackerey) cadre. But then nothing will be left to protest against, in future. So my suggestion is just do not replace all 'B' s with 'M' s, leave some 'B''s (or Bombay) for future agitations, otherwise future SEna protestor's will have nothing to protest. It is possible that could be agitation against your suggestion to change everything from 'B' to 'M' in one shot. So leave few things with 'B' or 'Bombay' for future.
Another thing came to my mind now is that Sena or MANASAE people (does not matter which one) are not doing something that they expect from people from out of Maharshtar State. For example, name of Madras City has been renamed to Chennai many years back and yet Sena/MANASE people call Tamilians as 'Madrasis' instead 'Chennai'is".
Oh come on ! This is not fair on part of Sena/MANASE.
Nathan Ji, you are indeed very creative. You always come up with some new ideas in Sulekha Blog World and I really admire you for that.
I hope Raj Thackrey of MANASE or Uddhava Thackerey of Shiv Sena are not reading your blog. Otherwise, Nathan Saab Ko Bombay Arrrr Mumbai me rehna Mushkil ho jaayega. I hope they will not read your blog. Even if they read who cares, you have written the reality in a very humurous way. Maybe Sena/MANASE people will like it and pat you on the back.
Please do write such hillarious posts on different topics. Being so creative, I am sure you will do that.
Last, but not the least, I wish you had not attched that audio file. Just joking!!, please do not take this to heart.
Humourously Your's,
Dr. Kamath
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I don't know if you've read my play on "democracy". If you get mumbai, you deserve it. If you get a Raj, you deserve him. You voted him into power.
The point you made about udhav's son studying in Bombay scottish is so true. You take any of these politicians wards, they will be in the finest "english" schools.
And the say, the "general public" is the donkey. And if they are flogged periodically, the deserve to be!
It's not just mumbai, but bengaluru, thiruvananthapuram, kolkotha, chennai...everywhere!
If you want "complete" regression, let's ban English, wear loincloth instead of underwear(it has it's merits), burn our trousers and shirts, in fact everything that's foreign and let's start with say Raj thackeray's house or his uncle Bal's
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Gopal Sir,
Thank you so much! Your response was bang like 'instant noodles', before I could switch off my computer.
Nice to know you liked it!
The voice had to be weak, as it had the shivers. I am more used to singing under the showers, but find it too cumbersome for recording! Actually you and Sablu-ji were my inspirations for attemping to sing on sulekha! BTW, I like very much when you sing Talat's songs. Makes me wish I should also try!
Regards,
Nathan.
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